I have so many reasons why I love spring! The feeling of nature and the world coming alive, something new starting, energy returning and blooming.
Moreover, soon, we will celebrate Beadingschool’s birthday. But a question first: how do you feel about your own birthday? Do you like to experience the care and attention of your loved ones, or does it bring you a sweet and sour recognition of time slipping away?
In a few days, I will turn 41. They say that the 40+ woman is a specific creature. Knowing herself better, daring to express her needs and her boundaries, following the call for freedom, fulfillment, and happiness. Many confuse this with being unkind. However, being aware of our characteristics and our limitations is about WHAT we want to communicate (let’s say, the content), and kindness is about HOW we communicate. Stepping over our boundaries with a smile on our face might look like a nicety, but in the long run, it undermines the relationship.
And indeed, with age comes the recognition that authenticity and honesty create more valuable, deeper, longer lasting connections of any kind than resentment creeping in, when we say ‘yes’ while not having the capacity and our senses whispering to our body a ‘love you, but not today’ – which can be communicated nicely, with a hug, with a kiss, with warmth in our gaze.
During the past years, I started to listen to and act on those whispers of my body consciously instead of hushing them down, as I learned as a child. A habit that I carried with me way too long.
This led to a divorce – and to opening our lives to the possibility of truer happiness, both for me and for my ex-husband and now friend, who also contributed to Beadingschool becoming what it is today.
It also led to financial vulnerability, seeing which friends have the capacity, will, and open mind to stand beside me while I am forging my new path, different from the one and only way of living in the space where I come from – and witnessing how strong I am, somehow solving every situation that comes my way.
It led to letting go – and creating peace in my life where I can relax, rediscovering my softness and playfulness instead of keeping myself on my toes, surviving in fighter mode all of the time.
A turning point on this journey was the celebration of my 40th birthday. Cheering together with my friends, besides my birthday also for creating a new home full of life, laughter and art. Time has passed, and I still look at that day as one of the most beautiful in my life.
Friends filled my home. With conversations, dances, and music. We all dressed up in the style of 19th century Parisienne salons. And beads were part of it!
Let me show you how!
I prepared small gifts for everyone. People with pierced earlobes took earrings for themselves, the ones without chose one for a significant other.
With my flatmate, we decorated everything from the kitchen to the living, even the corridor and the entrance, to give that immersive feeling of a different world that my friends could step into. Red balloons outside on my bicycle, signaling the entrance, all the way up. Decorative chains that we have in the Beadingschool Bead Shop around the candle holders and hanging from the lamps.
Later during the year, I returned to creating small earrings to bring a smile to the faces of lovely people around me one more time. In December, I chose not to travel for Christmas, despite invitations I received (and am grateful for). I wanted to experience the holidays on my own, in my new home.
Far from lonely, on the 24th of December (which is the main day for us, Hungarians) I visited places I frequent regularly. Just as the baristas in my regular cafe or the lady I buy vegetables from at the local market bring me smiles every time we meet, I wanted to spread drops of happiness in the best way I can: this time, with earrings similar to the ones I made for my friends at my birthday party.
The result? Hugs, laughter, small talk whenever we meet. When Andrea was visiting, she said: everywhere we go, I can see how loved you are. And this is what really matters in life, in my opinion… You can create your village, even if you live in one of the busiest cities of the world. Cute earrings don’t solve everything and aren’t enough – but they can be the icebreaker, or they can help strengthen the bond.
I invite you to dare to create 15 minute friendships – be kind, be open, be curious about others, wherever you go. You are already doing it here, in the Beadingschool Community. And look what an amazing place you are co-creating!
What is a third place, and what does it mean to have a village?
In an ideal world, we balance our time between three places: work, family, and something that is not necessarily useful, fuels our energy and gives us release from responsibilities. This last one is called a ‘third place’ and can be connected to hobbies, religions, or simply going to the neighbourhood pub.
Nowadays, it is becoming increasingly hard to find our third place due to our fast-paced lives and focusing solely on the closest relationships we have: children and parents. While spending time away from home (literally or by focusing on something else, like beading, wink-wink) might be frowned upon, in fact it contributes to our emotional and mental well-being, that we can mirror back at work or to our spouses and children.
In my opinion, we are way too fixated on perfection, on finding the ‘forever’ – but the beauty of our everyday living is built from small moments, instead of an everlasting, blissful state of mind. We don’t have a recipe for the latter, however, it is so much easier to aim for something small: to grab our bead board, and maybe attract the attention of someone, to chat about what we are doing for a few minutes. To give a compliment for the jewel that someone is wearing in the line next to us. To wear our jewels with confidence, and return the smile, when someone notices.
These small moments, just as our tiny beads, will build up into beautiful days – and a beautiful life, lived while feeling embraced and connected.
Have you ever given a beaded jewel to someone who didn’t expect it?
Did you maybe have a nice chat in the past, when you were beading in public?
After my own birthday, soon we will celebrate Beadingschool’s birthday, too. Today, I would like to invite you to the celebrations – starting next Tuesday, during #CoffeeTimeWithErika, followed by a surprise #NoOneBeadAlone, days celebrating our Beaders, Friends-Designers, a Treasury visit – and culminating in finally sharing with you the result of the biggest, most extensive collaborations with 13 designers from all around the world!
Lovely beaders, join me for the opening celebration of Beadingschool’s 5th birthday next week, during #CoffeeTimeWithErika on the 21st of April, and a week later, the big reveal during the live video on the 28th of April at the same time.
I can’t wait to tell you everything!
Thank you Erika for sharing the celebration of your life with us!🤗🥰. Just recently turning 64, I am grateful that I understand true friendships. The wisdom comes with experience and sometimes learning from the not so fun situations. Those helps us figure out what is truly meaningful. Beadingschool has been a bright beacon to those who have found the jewel, so to speak, in every way. The positivity, community of like minded people and the lasting leadership of Erika has made a world of difference, one beader at a time. And giving of one’s self in beading goodness is a warm feeling that keeps us producing, while we are able, to do something for someone else.